my life, my pace

Ever notice how great all the women look in scrubs on Grey’s Anatomy? I especially love how scrubs accentuate Izzie’s plentiful boobs oh-so-nicely (even more so than when she wears regular clothes!). Straight from the show’s FAQ is the explanation: “Our scrubs are perfectly tailored to each actor’s body by our very amazing costume department. They have darts and tucks and, here’s the key, LYCRA in them.” Ooooooooooooooh. I see. That is so not fair. Why can’t real doctors (and med students) look good in scrubs too? I thought I looked silly in a white coat. Well, I look downright ridiculous in scrubs. And I’m talking about size XS here! First off, the pants are too loose even though there’s that waist-tie thing, which forces me to try to tie the pants all the way up at my chest, which is not at all comfortable. It also doesn’t work. The waistline inevitably slides down just a bit every time I exhale. If only I didn’t need to exhale… Then there’s the ridiculous length of scrub pants that ensures that I’m definitely picking up every single dirty little germ in the hospital as they drag on the floor despite my efforts to tie the waist-tie tight enough to hold them up (and thereby making it rather difficult for me to breathe). Then there’s the shirt. Which practically goes down to my knees, making me look…well…I can’t even begin to describe it. I tried tucking it in, but that meant I couldn’t hide the fact that I tied my pants up at my chest to keep the bottoms from dragging on the floor. So that means the pants get to hang at my normal waist and drag on the floor. Besides, tucking my shirt in doesn’t really work anyway. Doing so just makes everything look poofier and all the more ridiculous. Looks like I just can’t win here. I came up with a brilliant solution for this problem one day. Kids’ scrubs! I already shop in the kids section for my regular clothes. Why not scrubs too? So I checked it out. And I failed. Apparently, they only make scrubs for really little kids. I may be little, but not that little. So now I know that scrubs are just either way too big or way too small for me. The irony. Oh how I wish scrubs came in a decent size for poor little me. I don’t need them to be perfectly tailored to my body. I don’t need them to make my boobs look good. I just need them to not make me look like I’m a child dressed up (quite badly I might add) for Halloween.

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