HOUSE: You answered?
WILSON: Turns out that’s what stops the ringing.
Six months without putting out, Dr. Cuddy doesn’t need to wear thong panties, but it’s not our call.
What sort of exercise could a strapping young man and a nubile teenage nymphet possibly be—
CUDDY: These are your big ideas? Somebody’s lying?
HOUSE: Hasn’t let me down yet.
CAMERON: You had unsafe sex? The whole unsafe thing didn’t tell you something?
DAN: Yeah. But we didn’t like—we didn’t plan on it, you know… just… I don’t know. We’re in love. We’ve been dating for 2 years.
CAMERON: Practically a lifetime. How about a semen allergy?
CAMERON: Too bad it’s not you giving the sample. We’d be done by now.
CAMERON: Love is an emotion certain people experience, similar to happiness. No, maybe I should give a more relatable example.
HOUSE: Oh, snap! What did he do to protect her? Brillo-pad his privates?
CAMERON: I assume he washed and he—
HOUSE: Oh good work! Assumptions are so much faster than actual questions.
Don’t worry. I’ll return him in roughly the same condition.
This is the one downside of teenage sex. You’re idiots.
Think lower and more fun.
Great part of being a grown-up: you never have to do anything.
New puzzle piece, always good news. What’s the bad news?
I need a lot of foreplay. And then there’s the cuddling afterwards.
Have you seen the centerfold? There’s no way those valves are real!
HOUSE: Lying’s more fun.
WILSON: Being lied to, not as much fun.
Foreman’s right, we’ve got to find out why she’s paralyzed. But not before staring at me dumbly for a few seconds.
Only way to confirm this is to inject a rat with her blood and wait for it to go all botulistic on your ass.
In the meantime, I’m going downstairs to browbeat a scared dying teenage girl until she breaks down into a scared dying teenage girl.
Lying to your parents is usually the right thing to do but there is an impending death exception.
Well, that wasn’t nearly as dramatic as I’d hoped, which just means the next time will be even better.
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