my life, my pace

I don’t want in! I want sleep!

You’ve got money. At least until the divorce is finalized.

Awesome. A sex fiend with a swollen tongue. Just think of all the places I can make Foreman search.

CAMERON: His wife arranged it for an anniversary present. If you ask me, if two people really trust each other, a threesome once every seven years might actually help a marriage.
HOUSE: Okay, I say we stop the DDX and discuss that comment.

Since most patients can’t tell their ulna from their anus, I’m guessing this guy also doesn’t know the difference between choking and suffocating.

If it makes you feel better, half the patients who come into this place have some sort of crotch rot.

Now I have good reason to doubt those doubts.

Don’t you ever eat anything that doesn’t look like it’s been rolled onto your plate by a dung beetle?

Complete moron working with power tools – how much more suspenseful can you get?

And you’re protecting a complete stranger based on some childishly romantic notion that people are all so happily married they don’t want to kill each other!

CAMERON: He’s gonna need a lung transplant.
HOUSE: He’s becoming more attractive by the minute, isn’t he?

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1. family (season 3, episode 21)He didn’t look both ways before he nuked. We’re not GM.  No recalls, no rebates. WILSON: I treat patients for months, maybe years, not weeks like you. HOUSE: I’m taller. CUDDY: Do you have anything to add to this debate? HOUSE: Wilson’s right, Foreman’s wrong, and your shirt is way too revealing for the office. WILSON: I also believe in patients making their own choices. HOUSE: Because it lessens your guilt if things go wrong.  You’re not protecting their choices, you’re soothing your conscience. WILSON: By that logic, a sociopath would make the best patient advocate in the world. HOUSE: Am I blushing? CAMERON: Are you okay? HOUSE: I just tripped over Wilson’s self-righteousness. HOUSE: You’re pathetic.  I didn’t actually mean that. WILSON: Yes, you did. HOUSE: No, I didn’t.  To infinity. Adults don’t need adult conversations, just like I don’t need this one. DISCLAIMER: All copyrighted content is the property of its respective owners....
2. sex kills (season 2, episode 14) FOREMAN: His right testicle is almost twice as big as his left. HOUSE: Cool. When guys have brain-crotch problems, it’s usually the result of using one too much and the other too little. HOUSE: No, I don’t want to know who gets the chocolates. I want to know who you’re having the affair with. WILSON: Fell on his head as a child. Tragic. HOUSE: Norwegian chocolate. Frankly, you buy that stuff, the terrorists win. WILSON: Some people bottle up their feelings, have them come out as physical pain. Healthy human beings express feelings such as affection by giving gifts. HOUSE: Gifts express guilt. The more expensive the expression, the deeper the guilt. That’s a $12 box, so that means you haven’t slept with her yet, or she wasn't that good. WILSON: It’s not all about sex, House. HOUSE: Really? When did that change? You mean calm as in peaceful lake on a cool summer evening? Or in the lesser used meaning of nothing can ever bother you again because life has absolutely no meaning? High dose of depo provera will chemically castrate you. HOUSE: Wilson! How long can you go without sex? WILSON: How long can you go without annoying people? HOUSE: No seriously, a week? A month? WILSON: I’m not having an affair. HOUSE: I didn’t say you were. Not in this conversation. I’m talking about a patient! FOREMAN: People have impulse control, we don’t need sex. HOUSE: Well not like air, but as a biological imperative, sure...
3. distractions (season 2, episode 12) FOREMAN: Been looking for you. HOUSE: Been avoiding you. HOUSE: Ew. Okay. No skin, no EKG. CHASE: Is he even going to survive the burn? HOUSE: What, have you got a date or something? Gave him a little headache, similar to the one you're giving me now. Who electrocuted my patient? CAMERON: What are you looking for? HOUSE: Same as you: love, acceptance, solid return on investment. You're cramping my exits. Obviously, I was doing something illegal and using nuclear imaging would have raised questions. HOUSE: Why can’t you just enjoy this? Why can’t you just be happy for me? WILSON: You have got to find less debilitating outlets than humiliating people! I hear bowling is more fun than stalking. HOUSE: But I’m better at this. That’s so close-minded. He’s not abnormal, he’s... special. Differential diagnosis for getting off. Different diagnosis for ejaculation. Don't make me say that again. CAMERON: Could pain medication cause an orgasm? HOUSE: I wish. CAMERON: He’s on twenty different medications to manage his pain and his heart, how often he urinates. His brain is like a waiter that’s got too many— HOUSE: Hey! I do the metaphors. God you’re good! You’re putting me to sleep! Kid’s happy. Happy, happy, happy. I didn’t know people actually read emails. The delete button is so conveniently located— HOUSE: Universe always settles the score. CUDDY: Does it? HOUSE: No, but it should. I’m looking for a distraction. You don’t need to talk to do that, do you? DISCLAIMER:...

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