my life, my pace

FOREMAN: His right testicle is almost twice as big as his left.
HOUSE: Cool.

When guys have brain-crotch problems, it’s usually the result of using one too much and the other too little.

HOUSE: No, I don’t want to know who gets the chocolates. I want to know who you’re having the affair with.
WILSON: Fell on his head as a child. Tragic.
HOUSE: Norwegian chocolate. Frankly, you buy that stuff, the terrorists win.
WILSON: Some people bottle up their feelings, have them come out as physical pain. Healthy human beings express feelings such as affection by giving gifts.
HOUSE: Gifts express guilt. The more expensive the expression, the deeper the guilt. That’s a $12 box, so that means you haven’t slept with her yet, or she wasn’t that good.
WILSON: It’s not all about sex, House.
HOUSE: Really? When did that change?

You mean calm as in peaceful lake on a cool summer evening? Or in the lesser used meaning of nothing can ever bother you again because life has absolutely no meaning? High dose of depo provera will chemically castrate you.

HOUSE: Wilson! How long can you go without sex?
WILSON: How long can you go without annoying people?
HOUSE: No seriously, a week? A month?
WILSON: I’m not having an affair.
HOUSE: I didn’t say you were. Not in this conversation. I’m talking about a patient!
FOREMAN: People have impulse control, we don’t need sex.
HOUSE: Well not like air, but as a biological imperative, sure we do. There’s two things we get stupid for: money and sex and since money rarely enters the bloodstream…

Hi, I’m Dr. House. I hear you’d rather die than admit you had sex.

HENRY: I assume that you’ve been in love.
HOUSE: Is that the one that makes you pants feel funny?

So what is it? A disease that attacks his brain, heart and testicles. I think Byron wrote about that.

Seems there are other ways to kill people besides having sex with them.

If you really cared about me, you’d find me a better corpse.

Big fat sloppy heart beats no heart at all.

Three minutes ago her organs were officially declared not viable. Time to go dumpster diving.

CAMERON: We’re going to cure death?
HOUSE: Mwahahahaha. Doubt it.

WILSON: No. Let’s just say. Does it occur to you that maybe there’s some deeper guidance than keeping your mouth shut? That maybe a friend might value concern over glibness? That maybe…maybe I’m going through something that I need to have an actual conversation about?
HOUSE: Does it occur to you that if you need that kind of a friend, that you may have made some deeper errors?

She’s a fridge with the power out. We start poking around inside, the vegetable goes bad. No offence.

Sex with teenagers isn’t interesting? Where did you grow up?

CAMERON: She’s positive for gonorrhea!
HOUSE: I think that’s the first time those words have been uttered in joy.

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2. act your age (season 3, episode 19)Stop!  Don’t move.  The way the soft evening light catches your eyes, the gentle caress of dusk on your hair as you turn around and leave my office without giving me that file. HOUSE: Nice work. CAMERON: He went home. HOUSE: Work smart, not hard. Dudes only go to plays if they’re dragged by women they’re hoping to see naked. Hey!  Don’t make me turn the hose on you two. Never is reven spelled backwards. Panty hamster get a spin on its wheel? WILSON: She’s a friend. HOUSE: A friend with a squish mitten. WILSON: It is a possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without— HOUSE: Blasphemer! CAMERON: Can’t I at least— HOUSE: Waste your time?  Wouldn’t recognize you if you didn’t. You did not just pull the dead husband card.  My wife died because she signed a consent form I didn’t want her to sign.  Died. There’s something wrong in your pants. DISCLAIMER: All copyrighted content is the property of its respective owners....
3. family (season 3, episode 21)He didn’t look both ways before he nuked. We’re not GM.  No recalls, no rebates. WILSON: I treat patients for months, maybe years, not weeks like you. HOUSE: I’m taller. CUDDY: Do you have anything to add to this debate? HOUSE: Wilson’s right, Foreman’s wrong, and your shirt is way too revealing for the office. WILSON: I also believe in patients making their own choices. HOUSE: Because it lessens your guilt if things go wrong.  You’re not protecting their choices, you’re soothing your conscience. WILSON: By that logic, a sociopath would make the best patient advocate in the world. HOUSE: Am I blushing? CAMERON: Are you okay? HOUSE: I just tripped over Wilson’s self-righteousness. HOUSE: You’re pathetic.  I didn’t actually mean that. WILSON: Yes, you did. HOUSE: No, I didn’t.  To infinity. Adults don’t need adult conversations, just like I don’t need this one. DISCLAIMER: All copyrighted content is the property of its respective owners....

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