my life, my pace

Unbelievable.  I’m absolutely speechless.  In a mere six weeks, these pesky freeloading kids have managed to do what I have not been able to do for well over two years now: destroy my bathroom.  There are two bathrooms in my house, but only one (the master bathroom) is usually used since the husband and I can’t ever be bothered with walking all the way to the other one.  So it was in pretty tip-top shape when the pesky kids arrived.  And now it’s not.

I don’t like bathrooms, especially ones not used by me.  So I left their bathroom alone (I certainly was not going to clean it) until I got bored one day while everyone was gone.  I opened the door and was greeted by the foul damp smell of failure-to-turn-on-the-fan-to-air-out-the-bathroom-when-showering.  I set them straight on this matter and reminded them to be careful to avoid water splashing out of the shower (we have a tub + shower curtain combo) and proceeded to go back to avoiding that bathroom.  How much damage can two kids do in eight weeks anyway?

Well, a lot.  I got bored again today and took a peek into their bathroom again.  And found that the baseboard molding (the piece of wood that goes on the wall right where it meets the floor to make it look pretty) warping off of the wall complete with strange brown goo on it.  So they had not been heeding my don’t-get-water-out-of-the-shower warning.  Then I make the mistake of peering inside of the shower, which looked okay at first glance.  But I’m not one to only glance at things, especially when it comes to these two pesky kids.  On second glance, I noticed that the soap dish looked awfully funny, as if it had recently been affixed to the tile/wall of the shower and I don’t recall having had my bathroom remodeled (quite sloppily too, I might add).

Upon further interrogation, I learned that passive-aggressive cousin-in-law “accidentally bumped into” the soap dish while showering and it came off.  Wow.  Really?!  Because I bump into the soap dish in my shower all the time and it hasn’t come off yet.  And instead of telling us about it, the brilliant pesky kids took it upon themselves to “fix” it in the hopes that we wouldn’t notice.  Too bad he’s not a professional soap dish re-attach-er because that would have been the only way they would have pulled that one past me.

Oh just what are these kids thinking?!  And how in the world did they manage to do such damage in such a short amount of time?  Is this what having kids is all about?  Because if it is, then no thank you, I’ll stick with dogs.  All I can say is that they better be glad my ankle is still not 100% better because if it were, I would quite literally kick them out on their ungrateful little freeloading asses right this instant.

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1. good riddanceAnd just like that, the pesky freeloading kids are gone! What's this weird sensation I'm feeling? I think it's called euphoria. The house is finally mine again...well, as soon as I clean up all the mess they left behind. But that'll be for tomorrow. Right now, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy something I haven't had for eight weeks and have been sorely missing: silence....
2. don’t make me choose between the dog and youYou will surely lose. I love animals. Well, at least cute, cuddly ones. You might even say that I love animals more than I care for humans. I especially have a weakness for dogs. If I could, I would adopt every single last homeless one from the pound so that they wouldn't have to be euthanized. There's just something about their innocence and unwavering loyalty that I simply cannot find in humans. My dog won't betray me. It won't stab me in the back or listen to its friends'/family's crazy accusations against me over me. It knows I'm boss because I'm the one who feeds it. And even though I ignore it sometimes, it still loves me unconditionally without giving me any crap for neglecting it. Yes, I know I may be over-idealizing, but that's just how my dog is. Maybe all dogs aren't like him and maybe I have issues with people because of my INTP-ness, but I would choose my dog over a human companion any day. But my dog isn't perfect. He pees when he gets too excited or scared. He has occasional bouts of really nasty diarrhea. He runs out of the house if he gets scared and I have a hell of a time chasing him down. And more recently, he's taken to tossing his food all over the place when I leave him alone for the day. And today, he's taken up scratching the wall. I really can't blame him. He lives and breathes...
3. RIPSadness.  Mr. Wizard, who taught me that you can't eat more than three or so pretzels because the salt on them dries out your mouth making it hard for you to swallow and inspired me to pursue science as a career died recently. :(...

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