son of coma guy (season 3, episode 7)

What a meh episode. Oh well. Reminded me of my post on how Hollywood portrays coma patients all wrong compared to real life. Yes, Coma Guy was in a vegetative state for 10 years and woke up and just got right out of bed and started driving no less. Right.

FOREMAN: L-Dopa?!
CAMERON: You’re not waking Kyle. You’re waking his father.
HOUSE: I commend your observational skills.
CHASE: You have no reason to think any amount of drugs will wake a man from a coma.
HOUSE: Vegetative state. Much easier. This guy’s no Terry Schiavo. His brain’s all there, he moves around, his muscles are barely atrophied. He’s just waiting for a fairy tale kiss. After I do that, I’m gonna stick a needle in him.

There are reports out of South Africa about a pill that will temporarily revive someone in a vegetative state. We’ve all seen Awakenings—it made me cry. I wanna cry.

WILSON: Ah! Rumor in the cafeteria was that caustic guy was waking up coma guy.
HOUSE: Technically, vegetative state guy was woken up by…yeah, caustic guy.

WILSON: We have an evolutionary incentive to sacrifice for our offspring, our tribe, our friends, keep them safe.
HOUSE: Except for all the people who don’t. Everything is conditional. We just can’t always anticipate the conditions.

Quick! What’s the kid’s status? I gotta get back to our sleeper before he goes looking for the orgasm-a-tron…see…if that were rhetorical, it would mean that I could just turn around and leave now, which I’m not doing from which you should deduce—

Don’t worry about it. We use recyclable clothes now: wear them once, then eat them.

Deep inside, Wilson believes that if he cares enough, he’ll never have to die.

Maybe your son takes after your side: seizures and an allergy to emotional connections.

This is easy. You ask the questions, answer them, and make tasty snacks!

Sorry. If I’d known he was going to be this annoying, I would have stolen Dr. Cameron’s pad and Dr. Foreman’s car. At least she appreciates my brooding melancholy.

[answers phone] House’s house of whining. State your complaint.

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