my life, my pace

After a whole month of scheduling difficulties, we're finally doing another experiment tomorrow.  So wish me luck because I really need it because if I don't get this model worked out soon, I'm so not going to finish my PhD by July (which is when I'm supposed to return to med school) and I just might go insane if I have to prolong this whole PhD thing by another year.

Related posts:

1. i’ve almost resigned myself to not finishing my phd this yearAlmost is the key word here.  Almost, but not quite because I really don't want to take an extra year.  I really don't.  But it's looking more and more like I don't have much choice here.  Why?Well, because: (1) I'm terrified that I will fail my quals.  And evil committee member doesn't help my confidence one bit.  Neither does the random committee shuffle.  Or the fact that I haven't really studied for over two weeks now.  The holidays are really a horrible time to have to be studying.  I'm so distracted by everything even though I really hate the holidays anyway.  Hating the holidays doesn't mean I can ignore them.  It doesn't mean I don't have to find presents for my evil in-laws.  It doesn't mean that I'm not tempted by all of the sales (to buy presents for myself, of course!).(2) My last experiment failed and the animal I'm using in my model isn't going to be available until late January.  Which means no experiments until then and still no working model.  If I want to finish this year, I will have to finish by July.  Hmm...  No model and no way to do experiments until February leaves me with only five months to finish my project.  I may be smart, but even I can't pull something like that off.  This issue is more complicated by the fact that I technically don't have to start in July along with the rest of the third year medical students.  I could start...
2. yet another failed experimentI spent all day at our animal surgery place doing the experiment that was postponed since I sprained my ankle way back in July only to meet with failure yet again.  So why do I care when my experiments have failed so many times before?  Well, because this failure signifies the end of my thesis project.  The end because my project is flawed and just plain doesn't work.  The other failures had to do with setting up the model and with dosing.  But this time, our model worked perfectly and we used a guaranteed-to-work dose of the stuff I'm testing and it still didn't work.  Not at all.  Nothing.  If the stuff I'm testing doesn't work, then who cares whether I'm able to set up the model to test it in?  They don't give PhDs for failures.  I'm so screwed....
3. finally…success!!!So, I had an experiment today. The one where I try to induce the condition we are trying to study that has failed a million and one times before. This time, though, my stubborn major professor finally let me change animal models to the animal I had wanted to use in the first place...the one he didn't let me use so that I could waste a year doing experiments that didn't work on an animal that he chose for no good reason whatsoever. But I didn't expect it to work. I figured I'm just doomed to be stuck in grad school forever. So I held out little hope. Well, wasn't I surprised when it finally worked! We were finally able to induce the condition we are trying to study today! Except that we did it a little too well and the animal died earlier than it should have. But we did it!!! Yes, I'm excited. Because in our other model, there was no response whatsoever. A just-a-tad-too-big response is way better than absolutely no response. So now all I have to do is tweak the model a bit to get the just-right response and I'm set! Whoo-hoo! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go lie down. I've been on my feet for over eight hours now and sitting just isn't enough rest for them at this point....

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.