one day, one room (season 3, episode 12)

HOUSE: Perjurer.
CUDDY: Felon.

CUDDY: Is that Vicodin?!
HOUSE: Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me.

CUDDY: How can we make this more interesting for you?
HOUSE: How can we make the sky green? How can we make the tall short? You cannot make the uninteresting interesting.

HOUSE: And you’ve never seen an afterschool special? Dawson’s Creek? How do you get to 30 and not know about condoms?
CLINIC PATIENT: Oh God, I have an STD.
HOUSE: No, but you will. Every patient who comes in here for an STD test has one thing in common: they had SWS: sex while stupid.

And he swallowed something stuck to a fridge. Darwin says let him die.

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