my life, my pace

…to clear a room. And my dog has gas. Bad gas. Funny, how even he doesn’t want to smell it. Because he’ll fart and then look ashamed and run away. Not only does he have gas, but every time he poops, he reeks of stink for a good five minutes afterwards. I don’t know what’s wrong because I haven’t changed his diet recently or anything. My husband thinks he’s getting old and can’t quite digest as well as he used to. And we’re already feeding him the good stuff so I don’t know what to switch him to. I guess I have no choice but to move to the even better stuff. Because I really can’t stand the stink of his farts any longer.

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1. ack, my dog is fatSo I took my dog to the vet today for his annual checkup and vaccine boosters in anticipation of not having the time to do it later in the month. Now I've been noticing that he's getting a little chubby, but my husband doesn't believe me and has not cut back on how much he feeds him. Of course, my husband has not once gone to the vet with me and has never seen the charts they have in the vet's office showing what a healthy dog should look like and my attempts to describe these charts and my concerns to him fell on deaf ears. I knew that my dog had filled out a bit, but nothing could prepare me for how much weight he actually gained: a whole 10 lbs! He was 50 lbs before (which was his ideal weight or "ideal dog" in the chart below), so that means he gained 20% of his original weight! If I were to gain 20% of my current weight, I would have to gain almost 20 lbs! The vet now classifies my dog as "overweight" bordering on "obese" according to the chart below!* Talk about embarrassing. I spent the remainder of the vet visit trying to blame my husband (rightfully so, I might add) for my dog's condition. But it didn't change the fact that I was the one who got lectured instead of the person who deserved it. And to add insult to injury, my husband just keeps saying,...
2. don’t make me choose between the dog and youYou will surely lose. I love animals. Well, at least cute, cuddly ones. You might even say that I love animals more than I care for humans. I especially have a weakness for dogs. If I could, I would adopt every single last homeless one from the pound so that they wouldn't have to be euthanized. There's just something about their innocence and unwavering loyalty that I simply cannot find in humans. My dog won't betray me. It won't stab me in the back or listen to its friends'/family's crazy accusations against me over me. It knows I'm boss because I'm the one who feeds it. And even though I ignore it sometimes, it still loves me unconditionally without giving me any crap for neglecting it. Yes, I know I may be over-idealizing, but that's just how my dog is. Maybe all dogs aren't like him and maybe I have issues with people because of my INTP-ness, but I would choose my dog over a human companion any day. But my dog isn't perfect. He pees when he gets too excited or scared. He has occasional bouts of really nasty diarrhea. He runs out of the house if he gets scared and I have a hell of a time chasing him down. And more recently, he's taken to tossing his food all over the place when I leave him alone for the day. And today, he's taken up scratching the wall. I really can't blame him. He lives and breathes...
3. no parking!My neighbor across the street from me has a problem. Their entire family is so sedentary that they call walking across the street exercise. That’s the only explanation I can think of for why they insist on always parking their ugly SUVs in front of my house even though there are spaces aplenty (and by aplenty, I mean that there is not a single car on their side of the street) in front of their own. Bad enough when it was a Nissan Pathfinder. But now it’s a flaming red Hummer. Which they bought right when gas prices began soaring. Are they trying to show off that they are rich and can afford it? Or that they don’t give a crap about the oil crisis and want to spend more than their fair share of our precious limited resources? All that I know is that I simply cannot stand it when they park their gas guzzler in front of my house. You can’t even see my house past that monstrous thing! And I’m green, darnit—I don’t want anybody thinking that I drive such a thing. I’d seriously buy a Prius if I could afford it and if it were really worth it in the end. My husband and I carpool to work/lab even though doing so means I’m stuck in the lab (from hell) at least an hour longer than I have to be. I like to think that I’m at least trying to do my part. My distaste for...

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