my life, my pace

Happy Lunar New Year! It’s the year of the rat, but don’t worry, rats aren’t all bad.

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1. inspirational music for life’s (annoying) little moments 2.6Unluckily enough for me, my holidays were chock full of in-law action (or inaction depending on how you look at it).  And after yet another Christmas where I ended up with re-gifts and gift cards to places I don't shop after I put a lot of thought and money into their presents combined with their blatant hypocrisy, I'm done with them.  I seldom take leaps or put my faith into people because that's just not how I am.  But I (foolishly) put myself out there with them because I thought we could all be family...that I would have a motherly figure in my life again, a sister, and brothers who would actually listen to me (my brothers have since come around).  But everything that has happened with my in-laws since the day I got married has only served to remind me of exactly why I put a huge wall around myself that few people ever manage to scale.  And to show me how big of an idiot I was to believe even for a second that I was going to gain another loving family.  So my song for this week is Paramore - For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic because I put my faith in these people and they just threw it away.  And then some. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KKfSL_Tw20[/youtube] As usual, send song suggestions here....
2. inspirational music for the graduate student 1.16Ah, nothing like a little get-together of all of us MD/PhDers (they call it a colloquium) to remind me of how I'm not finishing my PhD this year as I had planned. And I really needed to finish this year. Because this whole PhD thing is driving me crazy. I don't know if I can last another year. The longer it takes, the more bitter and jaded I become and the less likely I will go into academics once it's all said and done (if ever). Argh, the frustration! And the song that's running through my head as I fume against my predicament is the current opening theme for another anime that I watch called Death Note. It's in Japanese and I haven't found the translation, but it's not what I would call a happy song. The seemingly incoherent rapidfire singing that this band does is so reminiscent of all of the non-help I've been getting to help me finish and get on with my life. It's the perfect song for all of the frustration that I feel. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG3d_q9CMDQ&mode=related&search=[/youtube] Know some good angry-I-hate-grad-school songs?  Send them to me here....
3. inspirational music for life’s (annoying) little moments 2.3I hate to admit it (and likely jinx myself), but this summer has been the quietest one so far in terms of in-law drama. Sure, I had that pesky cousin-in-law over for three weeks, but that was nothing compared to having not-so-dear brother-in-law and passive-aggressive cousin-in-law over for eight long weeks along with a severely sprained ankle. But, of course, all good things must come to an end, and I'm currently preparing myself for super spectacular in-law drama for Labor Day weekend. To make a long story short, we will all end up converging in a sunny locale to show yet another cousin-in-law universities in the area and sister-in-law wants everyone to get together and pretend to be one big, completely fake, happy family. Which, of course, isn't going to happen because I have banned any contact between myself and my husband with not-so-dear brother-in-law and his super psycho super fugly girlfriend (maybe I should just call her SPSFG for short...or maybe not...). And of course, because my sister-in-law loves all things fake, she'll throw a huge hissy fit and declare me the evil one. Well, so be it if that's what it takes for me to make a stand against their golden boy and his SPSF girlfriend. I'd rather be ostracized (quite frankly, I much prefer being uninvolved) than be exposed to that fugliness for even a millisecond. Oh yeah, and I can't stand superficiality and fakeness. If my family doesn't get along, then we don't get along. We...

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